My PhotoThe Artist Formerly Known as
 Eric Kirkland's Newsletter
www.thequestionmarkguy.com

October 2005

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Greetings:
Welcome to my second Newsletter. Since people have been kind enough to join the mailing list I feel obligated at this time to supply you with this months issue.  Enjoy!

Most of the information here will also be available on my website

There will also be selected entries from my Blog, and updated show schedules.

Joke of the Month:

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.

One of them said, "I'm the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."

One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in 5 field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat.

Now he's President of the United States."

News of the weird:

Since I have my own blog every now and then I click on the "Next Blog" link and one day I came across this doozy of a blog.  Originally I thought it was just a joke, but I did a search for Lump Lipschitz on google and actually did come across some art exhibits so I believe it's a legitimate person.

Start reading it from the bottom up.  It's been more interesting than any soap opera you will find on T.V.

The Lump Lipschitz Blog

 

 

Idiot of the Month:

I thought I wasn't going to have an Idiot of the Month until I saw today's quotes by former FEMA head Mike Brown. Oh, by the way, he was reassigned but still on the government payroll.

My favorite quote is this one. What the hell, go ahead and kick Louisiana while they are down.

"My biggest mistake was not recognizing by Saturday that Louisiana was dysfunctional," two days before the storm hit, Brown said.

Dysfunctional? That's the best he could come up with? Also, unlike most politicians who at least even though we know they don't mean it take some blame this a-hole won't take any. He has pointed blame to the following

Louisiana Governer Kathleen Blanco
New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin
The Dept. of Homeland Security
"a hysteric media"
Army Lt. Gen. Russel Honore, the military coordinator for the disaster whom he called "A Bull in a China closet"
"Americans themselves must play a more active role in preparing for natural disasters - and not expect more from the government than it can deliver."


Hmm, seems like everyone here is to blame except himself, FEMA, and his buddy "W"

Upcoming October Shows
(schedule subject to change, visit my website)

Dates Club City For reservations call
1 Funny Farm Youngstown, OH  
12-15 Zanies at Pheasant Run Chicago, IL  
21-23 Vacation getaway weekend!    
29 Trick or Treating with my son if it isn't snowing!  
Recent Comics I've worked with:

Bill Bushart, Sean the house M.C., and myself in Merrillville, IN. First time working with Bill, looking forward to working with him again.Another first timer for me. Rico Bruce Wade did a guess set at Gary Fields Comedy Club in Kalamazoo. 

 

 

One of my best friends in the business, Darryl Rhoades, doing something really weird to the Saddle at the Saddle Saloon.  Darryl is now another comic that has been turned onto BD's Mongolian BBQ.

 

 


Radio Host Matt Spatz, myself, and John Roberts at the Funny Farm in Youngstown, OH.  (Don't pay any attention to the poor imitation of "The People's Eyebrow".  To the folks that were at the show in Youngstown Saturday night Oct 1., you guys were awesome!  That was one of my most enjoyable shows ever!

Last month in this space was a box full of nothing just because I was curious as to how many of you would actually take time out of your valuable days to read the whole stupid thing in this box of nothing.   Well, I know some of you did and now I'm doing it again just to piss you off even more.  In the back of your minds you are saying.  "O.K., I know sooner or later there is going to be something funny in this box, maybe I'll just have to read it all the way to the end."

But if you did that then there may be something here in the middle, that ties into what's actually at the end, so if you skip this middle portion then the end wouldn't make any sense to you, not that there will be anything in the middle nor the end worth reading anyway.  Therefore save yourself some time and don't read the last box.  It's just another box saying that there is nothing there to read.

(So, did you skip all the way here to the end thinking there would be something worthwhile here?  I told you up above that there wouldn't be anything here, but did you listen...Noooo, you just had to be hard headed didn't you?  Why am I asking you a question like I'm going to get an answer to it? Crap, I just did it again didn't I?  Arghh, Stop it!) Anyway, nothing here but small type font to piss you off even more.

 

For those of you that I took pictures of make sure you visit the blog and see what I had to say about you!

Even if you didn't have your picture taken check the blog anyway.  Lot's of new entries posted!

Missed the September Newsletter?

You can view it here.

Book Reviews:

A Horse and his boy

This is the third book in the Chronicles of Narnia series.  So far each book has gotten better and I have enjoyed them all.  I'm working on the fourth book now.  If you haven't read the series you may want to check out at least "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" as it is set to be the big winter movie this year and at least two more of the books have already been green lighted.

This book is the story of a impoverished boy and a girl living the life of a Princess but does not wish to live that life as she has been predetermined to marry someone not of her choosing.

The two meet up as they run away to escape to the enchanted land of Narnia and discover that both of their horses are talking horses that once lived in the land of Narnia themselves.

Without giving much away the book also touches on religion with the Lion character Aslan. 

Movie Reviews:

Sideways:

My wife and I finally had a chance to see this movie.  We've had it for a while but with a kid around it's always hard to find time to watch and adult movie.  We both thoroughly enjoyed this movie.  I think it had a lot to do with the actors were closer to our age than most movies.  We also both like movies that aren't the typical movie that two minutes in you know that the boy is going to get the girl and there will be the obligatory happy ending.

What made this movie even more enjoyable for me is that the two guys in the movie remind me so much of two guys I know that that just made it all the funnier.  (Will, I'm not talking about you and Dave in case you are wondering)

I would say if you are 35 or over you would enjoy this movie, 34 and under it may not be your cup of tea.


Music of the Moment:

So Amazing, An All Star Tribute to Luther Vandross
Various Artist

This is one excellent CD! This is one of the few tribute CD's where the songs are kept pretty much close to the originals and not the performers rendering of the song, except for the awful version of Always and Forever by Wyclef Jean and Donna Summer trying to turn Love Power into a disco song.

Some songs on the CD I will review:
Track 1. Never To Much-Mary J Blige
Very nice rendition by the Queen of Hip Hop.  I like how she points out "Give me that guitar like the original joint."

Track 2. Superstar-Usher
This rendition could be the one that turns on the adult crowd to the talent of Usher.  His rendition shows he can sing an adult love song and give it justice. This is my favorite song on the CD. Usher will be around for a LONG time.

Track 4.  So Amazing-Beyonce' and Stevie Wonder
This one didn't blow me away, however it is nice to here Stevie Wonder back on the music seen

Track 5. A House is Not a Home-Aretha Franklin
Another music legend pays tribute.  Aretha can still tear it up, she can hit notes in a way that will gives you goose bumps. She also has that voice to make this sound like a borderline gospel song.

Track 7. If this World were Mine-Alicia Keys featuring Jermaine Paul
Being an Alicia Keys fan I was disappointed by this version, seemed to be to jazzed up.  I think this would have been a much better song if it was kept simple with just Alicia Keys and a piano

Track 9. Dance with my Father-Celine Dion
First off I am not a big Celine Dion fan, actually I can't stand her to be honest. However, I will admit she does a decent job on this song but this is one no one could do like Luther.  This song had came out originally not to long after my father had passed away so any other version can't do it justice.

Track 12. Here and Now-Patti Labelle
Another nice tribute to the original.  Nothing fancy or over the top.

Track 13. Love won't Let me Wait-John Legend
A very nice job by John Legend.  John Legend has the smooth sound of a jazz singer.  I believe John Legend is another artist that will be along for a long time.  He makes the kind of music like Luther, smooth and mellow mood music

Track 15. Creepin-Jamie Foxx
Jamie Foxx continues to impress with his multitude of talents.  For example I didn't even realize that was him singing on "Golddigger" by Kanye West until I saw the video.  He does a decent job here on Creepin

 

On the Serious Tip:

So many times we here "It's the little things that are important" that it ends up becoming an old tired cliché. (Hey cool, spell checker put that little symbol thing over the e in cliché) The other day though I realized that that old tired saying has a lot of truth tied to it.

I didn't start doing this intentionally but it just started happening over time.  Whenever I make a cup of coffee or tea I always tend to reach for one of these two mugs.   I think once you become a parent and you receive these types of gifts you appreciate them more than any other gifts.  

A gift from a child is so different than a gift from an adult.  In the back of your mind you never find yourself saying, "I wonder how much that costs?"

Now that I have learned to appreciate these little gifts that give more enjoyment than the bigger gifts I can also reflect on some of the things my parents kept around as long as they lived.  My mom always kept a little guy I made out of paper plate probably back in pre-school or kindergarten.  My dad always kept on his bedroom door a copy of The Lords Prayer my brother wrote by hand in Calligraphy. In their living room they kept a mug I gave them one Christmas that had their wedding picture in it. 

Now that I look back on those gifts that didn't cost more than a few dollars those are the ones that were cherished the most.

Now I just have to decide which mug I want my coffee in. 

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