|
The
Artist Formerly Known as
Eric Kirkland's Newsletter
www.thequestionmarkguy.com
|
|
October 2005 |
| If
you wish to be removed from this mailing list please reply with
"remove" in the subject line. I will pretend that that
won't hurt my feelings. |
Greetings:
Welcome to my second Newsletter. Since people have been kind
enough to join the mailing list I feel obligated at this time to supply
you with this months issue. Enjoy!
Most of the information here will also be available on my website.
There will also be selected entries from my Blog,
and updated show schedules. |
Joke
of the Month:
Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf together and
discussing surgeries they had performed.
One of them said, "I'm the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A
concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8
months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of
England."
One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both
arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he
won a gold medal in 5 field events in the Olympics."
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years
ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on
into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was
the horse's ass and a cowboy hat.
Now he's President of the United States."
| News of the weird:
Since I have my own blog
every now and then I click on the "Next Blog" link and
one day I came across this doozy of a blog. Originally I
thought it was just a joke, but I did a search for Lump Lipschitz
on google and actually did come across some art exhibits so I
believe it's a legitimate person.
Start reading it from the bottom up. It's been more
interesting than any soap opera you will find on T.V.
The Lump Lipschitz
Blog
|
|
| Idiot
of the Month:
I
thought I wasn't going to have an Idiot of the Month until I saw today's
quotes by former FEMA head Mike Brown. Oh, by the way, he was reassigned
but still on the government payroll.
My favorite quote is this one. What the hell, go ahead and kick
Louisiana while they are down.
"My biggest mistake was not recognizing by Saturday that Louisiana
was dysfunctional," two days before the storm hit, Brown said.
Dysfunctional? That's the best he could come up with? Also, unlike most
politicians who at least even though we know they don't mean it take
some blame this a-hole won't take any. He has pointed blame to the
following
Louisiana Governer Kathleen Blanco
New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin
The Dept. of Homeland Security
"a hysteric media"
Army Lt. Gen. Russel Honore, the military coordinator for the disaster
whom he called "A Bull in a China closet"
"Americans themselves must play a more active role in preparing for
natural disasters - and not expect more from the government than it can
deliver."
Hmm, seems like everyone here is to blame except himself, FEMA, and his
buddy "W"
|
|
Upcoming October Shows
(schedule subject to change, visit my website)
| Dates |
Club |
City |
For reservations call |
| 1 |
Funny Farm |
Youngstown, OH |
|
| 12-15 |
Zanies at Pheasant Run |
Chicago, IL |
|
| 21-23 |
Vacation getaway weekend! |
|
|
| 29 |
Trick or Treating with my |
son if it isn't snowing! |
|
|
Recent
Comics I've worked with:
 Bill Bushart, Sean the house
M.C., and myself in Merrillville, IN. First time working with Bill,
looking forward to working with him again. Another first timer for me. Rico Bruce
Wade did a guess set at Gary
Fields Comedy Club in Kalamazoo.
One
of my best friends in the business, Darryl
Rhoades, doing something really weird to the Saddle at the Saddle
Saloon. Darryl is now another comic that has been turned onto BD's
Mongolian BBQ.

Radio Host Matt Spatz, myself, and John Roberts at the Funny Farm in
Youngstown, OH. (Don't pay any attention to the poor imitation of
"The People's Eyebrow". To the folks that were at the
show in Youngstown Saturday night Oct 1., you guys were awesome!
That was one of my most enjoyable shows ever!
|
| Last
month in this space was a box full of nothing just because I was curious
as to how many of you would actually take time out of your valuable days
to read the whole stupid thing in this box of nothing. Well,
I know some of you did and now I'm doing it again just to piss you off
even more. In the back of your minds you are saying.
"O.K., I know sooner or later there is going to be something funny
in this box, maybe I'll just have to read it all the way to the
end."
But if you did that then there may be something here in the middle,
that ties into what's actually at the end, so if you skip this middle
portion then the end wouldn't make any sense to you, not that there will
be anything in the middle nor the end worth reading anyway.
Therefore save yourself some time and don't read the last box.
It's just another box saying that there is nothing there to read.
(So, did you skip all the way here to the end thinking
there would be something worthwhile here? I told you up above that
there wouldn't be anything here, but did you listen...Noooo, you just
had to be hard headed didn't you? Why am I asking you a question
like I'm going to get an answer to it? Crap, I just did it again didn't
I? Arghh, Stop it!) Anyway, nothing here but small type font to
piss you off even more.
|
|
For those of you that I took
pictures of make sure you visit the blog
and see what I had to say about you!
Even if you didn't have your
picture taken check the blog
anyway. Lot's of new entries posted!
|
|
Missed the September Newsletter?
You can view it here.
|
|
Book
Reviews:
A Horse and his boyThis is the third book in the Chronicles of
Narnia series. So far each book has gotten better and I have
enjoyed them all. I'm working on the fourth book now. If you
haven't read the series you may want to check out at least "The
Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" as it is set to be the big
winter movie this year and at least two more of the books have already
been green lighted. This book is the story of a impoverished boy and a
girl living the life of a Princess but does not wish to live that life
as she has been predetermined to marry someone not of her choosing. The
two meet up as they run away to escape to the enchanted land of Narnia
and discover that both of their horses are talking horses that once
lived in the land of Narnia themselves. Without giving much away the
book also touches on religion with the Lion character Aslan. |
Movie
Reviews:
Sideways:
My wife and I finally had a chance to see this movie. We've had
it for a while but with a kid around it's always hard to find time to
watch and adult movie. We both thoroughly enjoyed this movie.
I think it had a lot to do with the actors were closer to our age than
most movies. We also both like movies that aren't the typical
movie that two minutes in you know that the boy is going to get the girl
and there will be the obligatory happy ending.
What made this movie even more enjoyable for me is that the two guys
in the movie remind me so much of two guys I know that that just made it
all the funnier. (Will, I'm not talking about you and Dave in case
you are wondering)
I would say if you are 35 or over you would enjoy this movie, 34 and
under it may not be your cup of tea.
|
Music
of the Moment:
So Amazing, An All Star Tribute to Luther Vandross
Various Artist
This is one excellent CD! This is one of the few tribute CD's where
the songs are kept pretty much close to the originals and not the
performers rendering of the song, except for the awful version of Always
and Forever by Wyclef Jean and Donna Summer trying to turn Love Power
into a disco song.
Some songs on the CD I will review:
Track 1. Never To Much-Mary J Blige
Very nice rendition by the Queen of Hip Hop. I like how she points
out "Give me that guitar like the original joint." Track 2.
Superstar-Usher
This rendition could be the one that turns on the adult crowd to the
talent of Usher. His rendition shows he can sing an adult love
song and give it justice. This is my favorite song on the CD. Usher will
be around for a LONG time. Track 4. So Amazing-Beyonce' and
Stevie Wonder
This one didn't blow me away, however it is nice to here Stevie Wonder
back on the music seen Track 5. A House is Not a Home-Aretha Franklin
Another music legend pays tribute. Aretha can still tear it up,
she can hit notes in a way that will gives you goose bumps. She also has
that voice to make this sound like a borderline gospel song. Track 7.
If this World were Mine-Alicia Keys featuring Jermaine Paul
Being an Alicia Keys fan I was disappointed by this version, seemed to
be to jazzed up. I think this would have been a much better song
if it was kept simple with just Alicia Keys and a piano Track 9. Dance
with my Father-Celine Dion
First off I am not a big Celine Dion fan, actually I can't stand her to
be honest. However, I will admit she does a decent job on this song but
this is one no one could do like Luther. This song had came out
originally not to long after my father had passed away so any other
version can't do it justice. Track 12. Here and Now-Patti Labelle
Another nice tribute to the original. Nothing fancy or over the
top. Track 13. Love won't Let me Wait-John Legend
A very nice job by John Legend. John Legend has the smooth sound
of a jazz singer. I believe John Legend is another artist that
will be along for a long time. He makes the kind of music like
Luther, smooth and mellow mood music Track 15. Creepin-Jamie Foxx
Jamie Foxx continues to impress with his multitude of talents. For
example I didn't even realize that was him singing on "Golddigger"
by Kanye West until I saw the video. He does a decent job here on
Creepin
|
|
On the Serious Tip:
So many times we here "It's the little things
that are important" that it ends up becoming an old tired cliché.
(Hey cool, spell checker put that little symbol thing over the e in cliché)
The other day though I realized that that old tired saying has a lot of
truth tied to it.
I didn't start doing this intentionally but it just
started happening over time. Whenever I make a cup of coffee or
tea I always tend to reach for one of these two mugs. I think once
you become a parent and you receive these types of gifts you appreciate
them more than any other gifts.
A gift from a child is so different than a gift from
an adult. In the back of your mind you never find yourself saying,
"I wonder how much that costs?"
Now that I have learned to appreciate these little
gifts that give more enjoyment than the bigger gifts I can also reflect
on some of the things my parents kept around as long as they
lived. My mom always kept a little guy I made out of paper plate
probably back in pre-school or kindergarten. My dad always kept on
his bedroom door a copy of The Lords Prayer my brother wrote by hand in Calligraphy.
In their living room they kept a mug I gave them one Christmas
that had their wedding picture in it.
Now that I look back on those gifts that didn't cost
more than a few dollars those are the ones that were cherished the most.
Now I just have to decide which mug I want my coffee
in.
|
|
Contact "The Artist Formerly Known as Eric
Kirkland"
E-mail me |